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我错过了这趟火车。但老实说，我怀念错过火车的那种感觉。
Netherlands, Western Europe

Story by Joost Backer. Edited by Vivian Jieluan Chen. Translated by Cassie Dai
Published on August 23, 2021.

This story is also available in

2021年的母亲节

我正坐在阿姆斯特丹阿姆斯特尔火车站的木质长椅上。我的衬衫湿漉漉地粘在背上，这是10分钟前我骑自行车赶10点18分的那趟车时留下的痕迹。我晚了那么几秒。当我气喘吁吁地爬上楼梯直奔站台时，但火车正在极慢地离站。我咒骂着火车和自己，觉得要气死了。

因此我错过了这趟火车。但是老实说，我怀念错过火车的那种特殊感觉。

一年多以来，几乎没有任何外部因素影响到我的生活。或者换言之，只有一个重大、惹人厌烦且无处不在的外部因素把其他因素全都“洗白”了。

我的生活从未像疫情期间那般有节奏，有规律。工作中，我从不迟到，毕竟只需要点两下鼠标就可以退出当前会议然后进入下一个会议。约朋友（如果有的话），也都是事先安排好碰面的人和地点。我几乎不用再奔波，因此，没有任何能让我错过的火车。

渐渐地，我意识到我想随心所欲一点，而不是提前做打算。

一开始，我以为我喜欢这种有规律的节奏。我能掌控自己的生活。然而，慢慢地，我可以肯定地说，接连而来的各种确定事件让我感到相当麻木。几乎所有的事情都按照计划发生。我开始厌烦起这种生活，因为我总是能知道何时何地我将与何人做什么事情。渐渐地，我意识到我想随心所欲一点，而不是提前做打算。我想去探索现实世界和心灵的未知新领域。我想要惊喜和意外。我想因出乎意料的事情而急得满头大汗、暴跳如雷、气喘吁吁。我想要因此而受到启发。

错过火车让我感到前所未有的满足。它促使我把这些想法写在纸上。如果不是晚了那么几秒钟，我是断然不会这样做的。向我错过的那趟列车致敬。

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Joost Backer

Hey there! I'm Joost, 24 years old, from Amsterdam, Holland. What excites me? Creating songs at the piano. Going outside and play football. Reading (philosophical) novels. And above all: Getting inspired by other people's stories. By YOUR story.

Having studied Political Economy and a bit of Anthropology, focused on Latin America, I now work as a sustainability consultant at NewForesight.

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