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Racconti di un’infermiera del reparto di terapia intensiva durante il Covid-19: l’impatto psicologico

Dalla scorsa estate, mi occupo di pazienti affetti da Covid-19 che necessitano di cure intensive. Vi racconto cosa significa essere un’infermiera durante questa pandemia.
South Korea, Eastern Asia

Story by Lee Jayoung. Translated by Giovanna Luisetto
Published on July 1, 2022.

This story is also available in GB de es kr



 

Avviso di contenuto: Questa storia descrive il peggioramento fisico e psicologico di pazienti in terapia intensiva a causa del Covid-19, e potrebbe impressionare alcuni lettori.

Sono un’infermiera e lavoro nel reparto di terapia intensiva (ICU) di un grande ospedale pubblico di Seul, nella Corea del sud. Dalla scorsa estate, mi occupo di pazienti affetti da Covid-19 che necessitano di cure intensive. Vi racconto cosa significa essere un’infermiera durante questa pandemia.

Aldilà degli effetti del Covid-19 sul fisico, mi sono accorta che il coronavirus ha conseguenze psicologiche peggiori su pazienti ICU, rispetto ad altre malattie. I pazienti sono soli nel reparto d’isolamento; non possono vedere le proprie famiglie o amici. Sono affetti da questa malattia ancora-molto-sconosciuta e bloccati a letto, pensando alla possibilità che potrebbero morire. Stare in una stanza d’ospedale con il sottofondo dei rumori e le luci di un macchinario rende spesso anche difficoltoso dormire per questi pazienti. Sono in uno stato costante di incertezza ed è veramente dura per loro. Dovendo osservare queste persone ogni giorno, io stessa mi trovo in difficoltà. Non sono solo la loro infermiera—sono diventata la loro famiglia, la loro amica. Ovviamente, questo incide profondamente sulla mia psiche.

Non riesco a ribadire abbastanza l’importanza della presenza dei parenti per il paziente. Purtroppo, questo grande supporto è stato rubato dal Covid-19. 

Una volta, avevo un paziente, un signore anziano, che è stato in reparto 3 mesi. Era in cattive condizioni. Soffriva di una grave depressione, causata dal lungo tempo nella stanza d’isolamento. Poiché anche il suo fisico era debole, non resisteva a lungo durante le telefonate con la sua famiglia, così abbiamo deciso di permettere le chiamate solo in determinati orari. Ogni giorno, mi supplicava di chiamare la sua famiglia, successivamente avrebbe detto loro che voleva morire. Immaginate di dovervi occupare di qualcuno che continua a dirvi di non volere più vivere. Non riesco a ribadire abbastanza l’importanza della presenza dei parenti per il paziente. Purtroppo, questo grande supporto è stato rubato dal Covid-19.

In terapia intensiva, non è facile vivere, ma non è nemmeno facile morire. Dal punto di vista psicologico, i pazienti hanno tubicini che spuntano dal proprio corpo. Soffrono a causa degli aghi che li alimentano con sostanze nutritive vitali e non riescono a muoversi a causa della perdita muscolare. La macchina dalla quale dipendono per sopravvivere provoca un dolore tale che rende doloroso vivere. Testimoniare questo mi provoca un dolore incredibile. Da un punto di vista psicologico, credo si vergognino perché spesso si sporcano. Sentono la solitudine e la mancanza delle persone amate e non sanno se-o quando-moriranno. Ogni giorno, queste persone devono provare un dolore che non posso nemmeno immaginare. 

Qualche volta, mi chiedo se non sarebbe meglio sapere esattamente il momento della nostra morte. Nonostante non sia religiosa, mi chiedo quando l’Angelo della Morte arriverà dai miei pazienti, così so che ho a disposizione un giorno in più per salvarli, per curarli nel miglior modo possibile. Tutto ciò che auguro loro è di uscire con le proprie gambe dall’ospedale, gridando: “Evviva, sono sopravvissuto!” 

Durante lo scorso anno, molte infermiere e molti medici hanno dato le dimissioni. Altri, chi non riusciva più a reggere la pressione nel reparto ICU, hanno chiesto di essere trasferiti in reparti meno stressanti. Un’altra causa delle loro dimissioni è che noi lavoriamo con infetti da Covid-19. Le persone fuori dall’ospedale ci vedono come un pericolo e siamo esclusi dalla società. 

Nonostante sia difficile, non vorrei andare in ferie o smettere di lavorare. Il modo in cui combatto contro tutto questo—fatica fisica e dolore psicologico—è pensare che tutta questa esperienza fa parte della mia crescita personale come essere umano.


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Lee Jayoung

Lee Jayoung

Jayoung is a nurse from Seoul, South Korea. She is very passionate about her job and worked in a Surgical Intensive Care Unit (SICU) for 5 years. Since 2020, she has been working in a Covid-19 Intensive Care Unit (ICU) in a large Seoul hospital.

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