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Quando una ragazza diventa donna: storia di abuso psicologico – Prima part

Ho visto intorno a me donne crollare più e più volte. Ma non avrei mai creduto che ad un certo punto della mia vita sarei potuta crollare anche io.
Greece, Southern Europe

Story by Maria Sotiropoulou. Translated by Giovanna Luisetto
Published on May 17, 2022.

This story is also available in GB de es



Fin dalla più tenera età, ho ascoltato storie su donne di potere. Incoraggiata dalle parole di mia madre, sono cresciuta con la convinzione che niente o nessuno sarebbe mai riuscito a buttarmi giù. Nella mia mente mi ero creata l’immagine della donna indipendente: una donna che sta in piedi da sola e affronta ogni nemico e ostacolo.

Crescendo, piano piano ho iniziato a capire che la vita non è né una favola né un film su donne di potere in un territorio dominato dagli uomini. Ho visto intorno a me donne crollare più e più volte, non contava quanto grande fosse il loro sforzo. Tuttavia, non ho permesso che ciò tarpasse le ali alle mie aspirazioni e ai miei sogni. E, cosa ancor più importante, non avrei mai pensato che ad un certo punto della mia vita sarei potuta crollare anche io. Non avevo ancora realizzato che l’immagine glamour nella mia mente non corrispondeva alla realtà.

Molti avevano cercato di avvisarmi-e ancora lo fanno-del fatto che il settore della politica in cui volevo lavorare fosse dominato dagli uomini. Quando iniziai a lavorare nella mia organizzazione, [1] ero piuttosto proattiva. A causa della mia ingenuità e mancanza di conoscenza del settore, ignorai diverse bandiere rosse-qualcosa che tendiamo a fare quando siamo eccitati e spaventati allo stesso tempo. Questo si verifica specialmente nelle situazioni di relazioni impari dove una controparte tiene una posizione di potere e autorità.

Il mondo delle persone potenti in abiti eleganti, discorsi politici e impegno pubblico mi affascinò già durante gli studi. Colsi ogni opportunità che incontrai sul mio cammino, senza pensare che alcune cose mi erano regalate troppo facilmente, più di quanto non fosse il caso. Pensavo di essere sulla strada giusta, dato che vivevo ogni opportunità data come un ulteriore passo avanti nella realizzazione dei miei sogni. Ovviamente, ogni fase portò anche le sue sfide, ma pensavo che fossero giuste e normali, e che successivamente mi avrebbero premiato. O così credevo.

Nessuno mi aveva avvisato che le difficoltà comprendevano atteggiamenti manipolatori, supponenti e sessisti. Imparai che in ogni mio passo avrei lavorato a stretto contatto con un "mentore", che mi avrebbe spiegato cos’è giusto e sbagliato, etico e scorretto. E soprattutto, accettai come normali, parole giudicanti all’interno di quello spazio; solo perché era “semplicemente il modo in cui si usava fare.”

Da commenti amari sul mio aspetto e femminilità, al fatto che con una forte personalità estroversa dicevano che avrei fatto “qualsiasi cosa” per ottenere ciò che volevo, tutte parole terribili che percepivo solamente come “dispetti” innocenti e “amichevoli consigli."

Dopo qualche tempo, mi resi conto che le raccomandazioni del mio “mentore” non erano sempre giustificate. Iniziai a prendere iniziative per conto mio, seguendo il percorso che mi ero impostata, senza chiedere ogni volta consigli specifici. Non volevo adattarmi ad un modello creato da qualcun altro.

Purtroppo, questa fu la svolta della mia vita, che sfortunatamente non avevo previsto. Ci si aspettava sempre che facessi del mio meglio, ma mai che scavalcassi il mio “mentore.” Non immaginavo quanto cattivo potesse diventare.

Leggi la seconda parte della storia.  


 [1] Per evitare ripercussioni, il nome dell’organizzazione è stato omesso.


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Maria Sotiropoulou

Maria Sotiropoulou

Born in Greece, I was an energetic and extroverted person ever since my childhood, being passionate about foreign languages and debating. Holding a Bachelor's degree in Political Science, I am currently completing my Master's in European Studies at KU Leuven, focusing on European Governance and External Relations. My interests consist of foreign and European politics, governance, integration, gender equality, and women’s rights.

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