Photo by Hans Vivek

作为印度女性的我:集众美德与一身的女神,却不是掌控财富的女神

就算她很努力地让自己成为社会期待她做的那个“女超人”,我的母亲也很少受到尊重。
India, Southern Asia

Story by Charu Thukral. Translated by Lina Bell
Published on October 27, 2020.

This story is also available in GB de es lk



你知道一个钉子是怎么成形的吗?它要先被加热到一个相当高的温度,然后捶打成铁匠们想要的形状。我和其他的数百万孩子就是这样在心中形成了男性高于女性的思想。要想改变这根心中的钉子很难,但并非完全不可能,这需要不断地锤炼自己的内心。

印度的女性会被形容成代表着不同美德的女神。举例来说,拉克什米代表财富,萨拉斯瓦蒂代表学识,帕尔瓦蒂代表温柔,而迦梨会毁灭邪恶。然而,在一个普通的印度家庭[1]中,我们会很明显的感受到女性被期望成为一个美德的集合,但这些美德之中不包括掌控财富。这个趋势如今有所改变,不过改变发生得很缓慢。在印度,仅有26%的妇女有工作。更令人吃惊的是,这个数据从2005年(36.5%)来就一直在下跌[2]

与妇女的就业情况相反的是,女性被期望去承担家务,类似于做饭、清扫、照顾小孩这种吃力不讨好且没有金钱回报的工作。

我来自一个现代中产阶级家庭,在一些方面保持着保守的想法。但我一直认为女性也应当做有偿的工作。我自小看着母亲帮父亲做生意。尽管她有印地语和梵语的硕士学位,还是为了我父亲学了会计。在她为算数和新的概念烦恼不已时,她还要面对做家务的家庭压力。从某种程度上来说,她不仅在做自己的家庭作业,还承担了一部分我们应做的作业,同时还要面对一个大家族的压力。

就算她努力让自己成为社会期望的那个“女超人”,我的母亲也很少获得她应得的尊重。即使在经营企业、管理员工20年之后,她的观点也很少在商业事务中受到重视。她的性别定义了她的生活。她会在吃饭的时候突然起身去给我的父亲端一杯水,而父亲则只是吃他的饭。这不是说我父亲是一个沙文主义者,重点在于社会已经将不同的角色和阶层植入了他们的内心。

这种情况会因为收入阶级的不同而改变吗?不会的。性别角色差异在文化中扎根很深,是一种无法避免的社会现象。我的厨师(也是我的朋友)给我讲过她姐妹的故事,与家庭期望不同,这位女性无法对丈夫的无理对待保持沉默。她和丈夫结婚八年,有自己的收入。然而,她依旧默许自己的丈夫“批准”她的花销。

有时候,她的丈夫会通过暴力手段来强迫她服从。好事是,她一直坚持为自己发声,维护自己的权利。这是现在最需要做的事。

我母亲依旧被束缚在她心中的那个以性别划分的阶层里,形成这种观念的主要原因是她一直以来都被人教导,作为妻子、作为母亲的角色就是这样的。不过,另一个故事中的女性会做出改变,对这种既定的阶层发出反对的声音。我坚定地相信,为不公不平之事发声就是改变的第一步。我朋友的姐妹的故事正是为此种改变而做出的尝试。


[1] 这种情况可能在印度的不同地区会有不同的特点。尽管大部分印度东北部和南部的人们会给予妇女更多的自由和自主权利,但是文化中很多观念和主流社会期望依旧存在。

[2] 阅读此文章了解更多情况:https://www.thehindu.com/business/female-labour-force-participation-in-india-fell-to-26-in-2018-report/article26467857.ece

 


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Charu Thukral

Charu Thukral

Namaste from India.

I am Charu, a 29 years ‘not-so-old' woman from the city of Taj, Agra, living in the city of dreams, Mumbai. I have done my higher studies in economics in a beautiful city called Pune. I will not shy away from calling myself a feminist. Apart from my 9-5 (infinity rather) consulting job in the development sector, I love clicking and exploring new places. I strongly believe in living and eating healthy. I am currently training to be a yoga trainer with an aim to broaden the connection between health and spirituality for me and  spread the knowledge to as many as possible.

Follow me on Instagram: @rushing_thoughts; @journeyofayogini

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