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هل هذا ذنبنا؟

كامرأة، من المحتم أن تتعرضي للمضايقة. من الصعب معرفة كيفية التصرف في هذه اللحظات. يمكن أن يكون الشعور بالإحراج والإذلال أكثر ضررًا من أي شيء آخر
Netherlands, Western Europe

Story by Nika. Translated by Maha Abdullatif
Published on June 17, 2023.

This story is also available in GB cn es kr



Content Warning: This story contains mentions of sexual harassment and assault that can be upsetting for some readers.

تحذير بشأن المحتوى: تحتوي هذه القصة على إشارات إلى تحرش واعتداء جنسي يمكن أن يكون مزعجًا لبعض القراء
أنا لا أسمي نفسي نسوية. في الواقع، أنا حذره من هذه التصنيفات المتحيزة. أعتقد أن التحيز الجنسي يسير في كلا الاتجاهين. قد يكون من الصعب الحكم على ما إذا كان ينبغي اعتبار ملاحظة على أنها مجاملة أو كتعليق متحيز جنسيًا. بصفتي شخصًا اسعى إلى فهم أفضل للأشخاص وفيما بينهم، أعتقد أننا جميعًا بحاجة إلى التسامح قبل أن نحكم على كلمات الآخرين وسلوكهم ونظراتهم. ومع ذلك، هناك حالات يكون فيها سلوك الناس ببساطة غير محتمل - ذكريات صغيرة غير سارة. أحاول ألا أفكر فيهم، لأنني في كل مرة أفعل ذلك أتمنى أن أدفن رأسي في الرمال. لماذا؟ لأنها حدثت لي في أماكن عامة. أي أنه كان بإمكان الناس رؤية ما يجري، ولكن لم يفعل أحد شيئًا. عندما تحدث لي مثل تلك المواقف كنت اخجل، لا اصرخ ولا أقف او ابتعد. عندما نظر إلى هؤلاء الأشخاص في الأماكن العامة، بدا الأمر وكأنني كنت مخطئة لأنني لم أفعل شيئًا للدفاع عن نفسي

سأروي حادثتين. حدث كلاهما عندما كنت طالبة في هولندا. الأول وقع في الليل. كنت أسير إلى المنزل مع صديقة من إحدى الحفلات مرتدية تنورة قصيرة. بينما كنا نسير على طريق هادئ، لاحظت ظلًا بجواري. عندما نظرت إلى جانبي، رأيت رجلاً بقلنسوة داكنة، تفوح منه رائحة الأعشاب. كان لديه تعبير خبيث. قبل أن أعرف ذلك، رفع تنورتي وأمسك بي. لقد صدمت وتجمدت. لكن صديقي، الذي هو أطول مني بكثير، كان هادئًا للغاية وصرخ بصوت عالٍ. لحسن الحظ، الرجل لم يتوقع ذلك وهرب. سارعنا إلى المنزل ووصلنا بسلام. هذه الحادثة أصابتني بالصدمة لليلة واحدة فقط لأنها انتهت بشكل جيد. وحدي، لا أعتقد أنني كنت سأمتلك الشجاعة للدفاع عن نفسي ولم أذهب أبعد من ذلك في تخيل ما يمكن أن حدث

الحادثة الثانية شيء أتذكره بتردد كبير. كنت جالسة في القطار "الترام" عائدة إلى المنزل بعد قضاء يوم في الحرم الجامعي. كان القطار ممتلئًا. كان مقعدي يواجه الممر. بينما كنت جالسة في مقعدي، وقف رجل بشكل ملاصق لمقعدي اي أمامي مباشرة لدرجة أنني إذا نظرت لأعلى، واجهت المنشعب. فجأة، بدأ في القيام بحركات مشبوهة. في البداية، لم أصدق ذلك. حاولت أن أرى من زوايا عيني ما إذا كانت شكوكي صحيحة. كل ما استطعت رؤيته هو النظرات المرعبة للركاب الآخرين. كنت أعرف ما كان يفعله. كان يحاول الاستمناء أمام وجهي. شعرت بالصدمة وجمدت مرة أخرى. شعرت الثواني التي استغرقتها حتى المحطة التالية بأنها ساعات. عندما وصلت المحطة التالية وقفت وانا مصدومة وهرعت إلى الشارع. وها أنا أشعر أنى الفتاة الغبية الخجولة

عندما يحدث لك شيء من هذا القبيل، غالبًا ما يكون من الصعب معرفة كيفية الرد. تمنيت بصدق أن يكون الناس من حولي قد فعلوا شيئًا - مثلما فعل صديقي في تلك الليلة. يمكن أن يكون الإحراج والإذلال أكثر إيلامًا من أي شيء آخر ولا يزالان في ذاكرتي. الصمت والجهل يسمحان بحدوث مثل هذه الحوادث

كلمة أخيرة، أود أن أشكر صديقي الشجاع لمساعدتي في تلك الليلة. آمل أن يصبح المارة الذين يتعرضون للتحرش الجنسي مثل صديقي وأن يقفوا ويصرخون.


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Nika

Nika

This story is published under a pseudonym due to the sensitive content shared. The fact that she cannot share her name shows how difficult and embarrassing harassment can be. In reading the story, you may reflect on Nika’s call to stand up to harassment and make public spaces safe for everyone.

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