"Das Land", 200X100, Milton Camilo

Do Rio para Wuppertal

Eu vim para a Alemanha por uma só razão: a liberdade. Mas, eu não "deixei" o Rio para sempre. Mantenho a ligação ao meu país natal, visitando frequentemente, e me mantendo atualizado sobre política de lá.
Germany, Western Europe

Story by Milton Camilo. Translated by Joana Fedato
Published on July 5, 2020.

This story is also available in GB fr



Eu vim para a Alemanha por uma só razão: a liberdade. A vida tem valor aqui; ela contadiferente do Brasil, onde só em 2017, 63.880 pessoas morreram por causa da criminalidade[1]. Na Alemanha, parece que há mais valor na vida. Aqui não se morre por causa dos sapatos que se usam; muito pelo contrário.  

Por exemplo, tem um morador de rua na rua do caminho do meu trabalho em Wuppertal (Alemanha), a quem eu sempre dou um pouco de dinheiro. Outro dia, não tinha dinheiro comigo, e disse: "Desculpe, hoje não tenho nada comigo". Um segundo depois, o homem correu atrás de mim e quis me dar todo o dinheiro que tinha recolhido nesse dia. Ele pensou que eu é que precisava de dinheiro nesse dia.  

Sou de um bairro da classe trabalhadora do Rio, e quando era criança, nunca imaginei sair do Brasil. Sou muito chegado à minha mãe, à minha casa e ao meu bairro. Porém, quando tinha cerca de 19 anos, frequentei uma Escola de Ballet. Isto confirmou para os meus vizinhos o que eles já suspeitavam: eu era homossexual (embora, na minha opinião, eu me apaixono pelas pessoas, independentemente do sexo). Nesta altura, eu vivia sozinho com a minha mãe numa casa. Uma manhã, alguém tentou invadir a casa. Ele disse que queria "a coisa mais valiosa da casa": ele queria me estuprar.

A minha mãe gritou. Ela viu os vizinhos assistindo passivamente e gritou os seus nomes, até que eles se sentiram culpados e vieram ajudar. O intruso fingiu estar apenas bêbado e começou a sair, mas quando os vizinhos saíram, ele se virou, olhou para mim e disse: "Eu volto para te buscar".

O meu mundo estava desmoronando. Eu tinha medo de caminhar para qualquer lado. Isto continuou durante vários meses, até que um dia, um personagem muito peculiar do nosso bairro gostou de mim. Quando lhe contei sobre o intruso, ele disse: "Não se preocupe, eu cuido disso". Eu não entendi. Alguns dias depois, ele veio com um carro e matou o meu agressor, durante o dia, na frente de todos. Ainda assim, senti que precisava fugir.

Durante esta fase, tomei conhecimento sobre "Ausdruckstanz"[2] na Alemanha. Participei de um workshop com dois dançarinos alemães. Eles me disseram que eu tinha um verdadeiro potencial, e que deveria ir à Alemanha para aprender mais sobre Ausdruckstanz. Dois anos mais tarde, quando tinha 27 anos, mudei-me para a Alemanha, para aprender dança contemporânea e experimentar uma "vida mais livre"[3]. Encontrei na Alemanha um lugar onde as vidas individuais são valorizadas, e onde me sinto seguro—um mundo longe da minha infância no Rio.

Mas, eu não "deixei" o Rio para sempre. Mantenho a ligação ao meu país natal, visitando frequentemente, e me mantendo atualizado sobre política de lá. Embora o progresso seja lento, tenho esperança de que o Brasil esteja melhorando. As pessoas estão fartas da corrupção e da injustiça do governo. Além disso, o Rio vive dentro de mim, na minha dança e na minha arte. Para mim, a dança e a arte são uma expressão de liberdade: um meio para as pessoas transcenderem a política e a opressão, seja no Brasil ou na Alemanha.  


Notas

[1] https://www.diepresse.com/5478130/mordrate-in-brasilien-erreicht-neue-hohen

[2] Dança expressiva

[3] Se você quer conhecer a minha arte e os meus projetos de dança, confira em: http://www.miltoncamilo.de/index.php


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Milton Camilo

Milton Camilo

Photo Credits: Suilian Richon

Hey, I am Milton Camillo. I am a 50-year-old Afro-Brazilian dancer and artist from Rio who emigrated to Germany more than 20 years ago. I am currently living in Wuppertal and focusing on my paintings. Within them, you can often find a certain sense of melancholy, a grasp of what is described by the Portuguese word “Saudade”. With my paintings, I am breaking up the normalized structures that have been taken for granted by the grown-ups in comparison to children, where everything is still fluid and possible. In that sense, they can definitely be understood politically.

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